Over 90% of our communication is non-verbal. From body language, to tone, to mirror neurons it’s less about what we said and more about how we said it including our posture while saying. Guests Joshua and Tara Dukart help me take a deep dive on all things communication.
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1 comment on “How Body Language Affects What People Hear with Joshua and Tara Dukart (WCP 401)”
At the outset of this podcast, I was hesitant – “positive psychology” sends up all kind of red flags to me – but I decided to keep listening because it’s Clay’s podcast. 🙂
I did learn a few things, but I must admit that I have serious concerns about these types of things.
Even in high school, I had a natural (or picked up somewhere/somehow that I don’t remember?) distrust/dislike of psychology. During my first year in college (1986-1987), I was required to read Dale Carnegie’s book How to Win Friends and Influence People (How to Use Friends and Manipulate People) for a general Ed. required class called “Communications.”
Since then I have become even more suspicious and opposed to psychology. One influence in that regard has been Dave Hunt and Tom McMahon at The Berean Call ministry.
A year ago, I talked with a man I met about 25 years ago. He has started his own business, helping people to communicate. He is developing an AI system that helps people to know how to word things to really get to the individual person based on their likes, emotions, etc. He told me that one time he wanted to compliment one of his teenage sons so he got advice from his program. When he used that wording, tears came to his son’s eyes and he told his dad, “It’s working, dad.”
I would be insulted and disgusted if I knew someone was saying something to me that a computer program came up with. I would rather just have someone say their own words to me from their heart than to have something computer- or psychology-generated in an effort to intentionally manipulate me.
Pointing feet toward someone seems extreme to me. Looking at them, maybe yes, in certain situations. I also think some good conversations can be had while working side by side, say weeding or splitting wood (by hand, not with a loud wood splitter roaring beside you).
Overall, I am very skeptical about intentionally acting certain ways to make more sales or to give certain impressions to people to receive some benefit. I prefer genuine people just being their natural selves. That doesn’t mean we can’t learn to be more sensitive or aware, but linking it to psychology is problematic for me, as is doing it for financial advantage.